After one year of silence, I'm back with a new perspective on music & creativity.

This is what happened following last year health crisis and the big changes it will bring.

(This is a pretty long one. If you want a soundtrack to your reading, you can click this LINK and listen to the new track I’m sharing at the end of this post)

Hey, it’s been a while !

I ended my previous post with this:

rather than ending with “talk soon”, I’ll say “talk when I have something meaningful to say”

I guess I was not kidding: I published it on November, 11 2023… Almost a year ago!

…

One month prior writing this, I was lying on a hospital bed, busy trying to heal from a lung infection that I had silently foster over the past 3 years, which suddenly provoked a life-threatening asthma attack in a matter of hours.

This crisis put an end to 3 years of intense creative work & a hectic release schedule. In this time period, I launched a beat-oriented project called The Arkanist, and released not less than 41 tracks with it.

I also released 19 Tracks as K⏣LYDER, my improvised soundscapes project, including 14 live performance videos, not to mention the all the promotion that goes with that.

I was barely allowing myself to breathe.. The infection came to remind me how crucial that is….

…

Thinking about this from now, the exhaustion I was going through was not only physical…

In June, I released The Arkanist 1st EP in 2 versions, one included a big sample pack. From the end of July to October, I shared the Synaesthetic Explorations series: 12 videos of improvised soundscapes + their audio equivalent with K⏣LYDER, and promoted all of this on multiple platforms for which I created about a hundred short videos.

I had never worked this hard to create, share & promote what was, partly, my most accessible music to date, for results that turned out to be pretty much non-existent.

By “results”, I don’t even mean streams, download & sales but mainly everything that can give you the sense of doing something that matters.

In a sense, Art is a mean of communication. Music is a way to share one’s own perspective, feelings and experiences in a way that transcend language.. It’s a way to create bridges and make connections, dialogues… This whole aspect becomes pretty much pointless when there’s no receiver at the other end.

I was only left with a great sense of alienation each time I had to push the publish button to share the “content” I spent 80% of my time creating to try to put the art I made with the remaining 20%. Probably because I was subconsciously more & more aware my music had no chance of getting some attention in the face of algorithms & short attention span.

The more I posted, the more it felt meaningless, the more other realizations start to rise to the surface:

The nagging feeling of being free labor for some Silicon Valley sociopaths and paying for their end-of-the-world bunker while helping them grow a system that works against artists, creators and well… humans.

The sheer waste that all those social media posts represent: their energy & ecological cost Vs their true end goal. Do I really need to see anybody’s meal or 1st thought about anything ? Do knowing about this meal or these 1st thoughts is really what’s important for the person posting ? Or do they seek some connection ? Connection that they won’t get on these platforms because they are designed to divide & separate…

At some point, I felt like a bully to others, imposing on everybody some distractions on top of the ones they already endure (often willfully… well, kind of…) . And, also a bully to myself by forcing my will through all those things that trampled most of my core values…

This a pretty specific reference I know….

The most disheartening realization was not about myself:

See, I joined several music makers communities during those years, from amateurs to aspiring professionals, and as I witnessed the behind-the-scene discussions, I came to realize that most music creators are facing the same conundrum as I was:

They exhaust themselves physically, mentally & spiritually in order to try to share what they create with their heart & soul, in a system that devalues their art while on the brink on letting them down at any moment for some random & unknown reason.

Creators are dependent on social platforms but can’t rely on them. They are required to betray what they believe in order to make what they love, albeit at each at different energy, denial, hope & Stockholm syndrome levels.

Few will talk about this in public because it’s the “show”/ “business”, but behind the the glitter and the glorification of “hustle culture” you might see on an artist Instagram profile, there’s a human being waiting to burnout and crash… (I actually became quite good at estimating how much fuel someone has left in their tank before they do, even when they seem perfectly fine… ^^)

If all of this was happening in an interpersonal relationship, we’d use words such as “toxic, gaslighting, blackmail”, etc… and everybody would urge you to runaway from that person…

This is what I did a year from now.

Back to the roots, at the speed of trees:

The strangest thing happened during this week at the hospital: I didn’t feel compelled to do anything: I didn’t read, watch TV or videos, listened to podcasts or music & kept internet use at a very minimum (mainly to give health updates to people I know)… Which is very much out-of-character for me.

Instead I enjoyed the not-so-bad view and the sun filling the room every afternoon.

Yes, this view was heaven compared to having to post on Instagram !

I actually felt more connected to the world, with a greater sense of belonging, that I had ever felt in the past 4 months (or maybe years ?), there, stuck on a bed, in a hospital room, with only a staff of carers to talk to…!

When I got back home, I was sure I didn’t want to go back to what I did before. For a time I even thought I might giving up music altogether.

After a while, I chose to go back to the very root of it: To just play music, free of the internet, technology and even electricity. And I let things grow from there “at the speed of trees”, a motto I borrowed from Charlotte Cegara / VoxAVox (check her Substack out here).

I purchased a Dobro, and rediscovered the 3-slides playing technique (see an old example below) I learned with Mike Nagoda (who plays with 2 slides but I had to adapt because of physical particularities). I had experimented a lot with different models for the big slide but never found the perfect one. After some research, I found a small builder in Germany, Daddy Slides, who built me a very good one according to the not-common specs I required.

koyl

A post shared by @koyl

And for months, my regimen consisted of playing & singing a lot of covers with the Dobro… Well, mostly Tom Waits’.

Things evolved and I started composing and recording ambient pieces with that guitar.

Of course, the dreaded question of “what will I do of them ?” arose at some point.

I realized it was mostly the compromises, big or small, conscious or not, that were the issue, and that this is what I had to stop making.

To get a clearer picture, I listed what I like the most about making music and asked myself: “What would I still want to do if no one ever hear a note from me ever again ?”.

Answers came quite fast:

• Being in a Flow State:

  Being able to reach those moments where time doesn’t exist & I stop being someone is the most important thing for me, and maybe the core reason why I make music. Only performing live allows this, even more when it’s improvised.

  On the other hand, producing is a very goal-oriented endeavor. You want to produce the best record you can which is not very compatible with living in the moment.

• Playing a physical instrument:

  By “physical”, I mean an instrument that I can grab & play without much preparations, also one that is prone to easily convey nuances.

  So I’m thinking guitars more than synths. I’ve spent quite a bit of time exploring modular synths, and performing with them never felt like “playing”. They require too much conscious thinking and made me feel more like an engineer than a musician.

• Singing:

  Singing is both art, sport & therapy. It reflects the entirety of a person, from her physical health, state of mind, mood and maybe even karma.

  To become a better singer, you don’t only have to study and practice, you also have to know yourself deeply and learn to collaborate with every part of you.(including your demons) while keeping your ego in check.

  Singing is the best thing I’ve ever did for my disability (Cerebral Palsy): I had to develop strength & learn to be emotionally intense while remaining relaxed: Pretty much EXACTLY what I’m not supposed to be able to do ! Yet, I learned to do it.

  I’ve taken weekly lessons with great coaches for 10+ years & perform weekly as part of the school I was in for 8… but I’ve barely used my voice in my own music because I’m not making songs & singing in ambient music is a whole other paradigm…

  I’ve been experimenting with that more & more in the last few years but was limited by the time I put in it because of my other projects.

  Maybe it’s time to really focus on this ?

• Transmutation:

  I’ve always been very interested in turning a sound in something else entirely, or using an instrument in ways it was not intended to. This why I’ve always been more excited by working with samples/pre-existing sounds rather than synthesizers. It’s so much more satisfying to create a synth sounds from a birds recording, or a guitar, than by mixing waveforms and adding a filter to them!

Those 4 elements clearly led to one conclusion: I should focus on improvising with guitars & vocals, which is what I started 15 years ago as Le Principe d’Inconstance and pursued as K⏣LYDER.

I should also aim at coaxing non-guitar sounds out of my guitars & develop an idiosyncratic style of singing. The later is both a bit daunting and very exciting! My favorite singers use their voice as an instrument and there’s an incredible range to explore. That may even means developing sounds that could resemble some kind of proto-language.

The 5th Element: Aether ?

Those musical changes painted a broader picture of changes that I needed to make:

• Replacing outcomes with curiosity.

  It’s the journey, not the destination, right ? There’s no rush to achieve anything and so many flowers to smell… There’s be no trace of all of this in 100 years so why should I care ?

• Focusing on inner motives rather than external ones.

• Developing deeper connections & resonances:

  With people, activities, medias (records, films, online exchanges, etc…), objects and tools… This usually doing & having less but using it better or smarter.

• Doing other things.

  I’ve not been very good at doing anything else outside of music.

  Last year I’ve taken a theater classe and I’m pursuing this with improv theater this year. I have also been writing stand-up comedy, and even if I’ve yet to do my first stage, the writing part has already been very enlightening & gratifying.

All in all, it means making music as some kind of Martial Art or spiritual practice.

Maybe it’s practicing music rather than making it ?

The inner transformation of the person doing it turns out to be more important than the result of the practice, the end product.

Maybe this is what “Aetherphonics” stands for after all: Practicing music as an inner transformation mean ?

The next chapter:

This is the plan:

• Generally speaking, I want to explore what music can be outside the realm of pure entertainment: Humans were playing, and gathering around music for thousands of years before the record industry was ever born.

  Music had profound social roles: it was used to build, celebrate, mourn, heal, share knowledge & stories, perform rituals & reach other state of being.

  It still has these roles in many cultures while in the western, cartesian & materialistically rich but psychologically & spiritually poor world, it mainly serves to sell stuff we don’t need to enrich people who don’t like us.

  But things are changing as the record industry is dying and scientists are rediscovering the ancient power of music & sounds through studies that tend to prove what humans may have known empirically forever…

  Did you know that most people can enter a shamanic-like trance state thanks to some specific sound loops ? And that this trance state can help people cope with many things or heal themselves ? Or that sounds actually help fungi to grow which might be a great help for ecosystem restoration & agriculture ?

  I’m not sure how to approach this with my own music yet but it’s definitely something I’m interesting in.

• I will stop doing 100% production work: Fine-tuning and mixing a track born out of improvisation is fine but I won’t be doing anything that does not involve live performances in one way or another.

• I’m putting “The Arkanist” on hiatus for now. Although I’m thinking of a process, and maybe style, change in the future, that would work with the “live” requirement.

• I will be focusing on improvised live-looping soundscapes as I did as K⏣LYDER, but I will explore every aspects deeper & wider: I will mainly use guitars, lapsteel, dobros & vocals as sound sources. I will try out different apps & VSTs for the looping rig: all have qualities and trying out different combinations yield different experiences. Same thing for the effects: I like to have a steady core of pedals but software processing will be varying.

  Also, I want to experiment with different ways of approaching looping, maybe following rules & limitations, and gamifying the whole thing.

• Since social medias lead nowhere, I’ll stop wasting my time, energy & mental health sharing my work on them.

  My pages will still exist (for now) and I may post the record releases on them so they becomes a catalogue & a quick way to see what my music is about. But no more “social” posts or sharing several promo reels.

  I will add a pinned post at the top explaining that the pages are not fully active and redirecting those who are genuinely interested in the music to Substack.

• This Substack will be rebooted and used as my main platform alongside Bandcamp.

  I plan to use it as a journal documenting my explorations and the ideas that nourish the music, and share some thoughts & realizations born out of my experiments or about subjects related to music and creativity.

I will publish each track I make here on Substack, alongside a link to download the track for free. The link will be available until the next track is published. Since I plan to keep my Substack 100% free, giving the track for free is my way to thank those who follow me and grant me some attention.

Some of those tracks might be released as EPs or albums on Bandcamp later, maybe with bonuses.

Most of the tracks will come with a description & explanations about how it was made BUT I don’t want make those too technical or gear-specific. It won’t be about the tools per se, but about how I use them, my intentions, ideas & process. It won’t be a tutorial as I think too much details kills the magic and originality: If you’re a musician, I much prefer that you find your own way of applying the ideas & concepts that I may share.

I also aim at making those explanations comprehensive for non-musicians & people who are not into gear or electronics.

I have nothing against answering specific questions in the comments though: it you need help with something or are dying to know some specific things, I’ll try to help ! (but please don’t die for this, it’s not worth it)

This is pretty much it !

Now it’s time for is a bit of music:

The Veil of Isis, a new track released on Silber Records “Droneuary 2024” compilation:

I recorded "The veil of Isis" in July 2023, using a Soma TERRA synthesizer & my own vocals, both live-looped with Loopy Pro (which is now my main live-looping platform: more on this in the next post.)

The track was released on Silber Records as part of the “DRONEUARY 2024”, 52 tracks & artists Compilation celebrating Drone music.

The label gave me a few download codes to share: If you want to add Droneuary 2024 to your Bandcamp collection, just send me a message and I will give you a code if there’s any left.

That's it for now!

I'll be seeing you with the 1st track of this new chapter in the next post !

Stay curious! Stay alive!

ƘɸƴԼ